I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
