your parents love me but you hate me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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