So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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