do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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