I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
