Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
