Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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