Im at strip club and am horny
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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