Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize