I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
