carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
