Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
