I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
