I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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