margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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