I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
