tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
