this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
