i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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