I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
