it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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