Barsexuality is the new black.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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