shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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