I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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