dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize