You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
