There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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