I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
