ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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