You can't special order awesome
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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