Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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