If i could tip my vagina, i would.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
