Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
