I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have fence marks all over my body
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
