He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
