Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
