...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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