CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
