the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My bed smells like the plague
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
