just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Watching her eat just hurts me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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