There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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