Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
