I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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