Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
