Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
