69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
