Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
