he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
