The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
