So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize