I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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