he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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