i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
should my penis look like a turkey
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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