He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My hand turned me down
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
