i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
