I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
