even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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