Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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