dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
