her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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