She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
